Take heart, soldier. Ben Stokes's side might be approaching the next Ashes Test already 2-0 down, yet not all in English cricket is disheartened. Exists one collective tailor-made for such a situation, a crack(pot) unit who can lay claim to be the quintessential masters of adversity. Is optimism crushed? Is the disappointment beneath the weight of crushing defeat? Well then, join the Barmy Army.
Even now, their first wave are gathering in Adelaide, the city where they first came together 30 years ago. England's iconic – and by headcount noisiest – travelling fans will be anticipating an anniversary win-against-the-odds, reminiscent of the one they witnessed on that 1994-95 tour. Furthermore whatever happens on the pitch, away from the field the celebrations will be protracted and hearty.
"The cricket's been very, very disappointing," one founder concedes, "but we're the lucky ones, because we're on holiday. It's likely harder for the people at home."
Even a spectacular team failure fails to deter this crew of battle-tested followers. They've been observing England's innings meltdowns since earlier than the latest star took the field. They've seen more fielding errors than key pacemen have Test wickets. Their collective record as an Ashes away contingent reads: played 37, lost 27, won 6. The people who understand how to endure a clean sweep, they are the founding members.
Indeed, on television, the Barmy Army are seen to be all over this series. Host broadcasters at the grounds often appear keener to feature the Barmies than on their own fans. TV partners often use them as banter-primed lead-in to a day's play. Even the cricketers on the field acknowledge them, as someone clad as a monarch conducting a chorus of a patriotic song.
One could argue that the Barmy Army's combination of history and ubiquity has now overshadowed quite how remarkable their dominance of travelling fandom has been. Thirty years in the past a handful followers were brought together in good-natured mockery of their team at England's dismal away record. In the present day their legacy is so synonymous with the national team that their boisterous, "unique" crowd is virtually an accepted institution. They've definitely come a far since the initial chants.
One founding member still remembers the excited anticipation of the opening day of that 1994-95 tour. After the opposition on top, he initiated a modest conga in the stands, teasing the Australian supporters with a tune about convicts. "The Aussie fans shouted insults at us, then threw plastic cups – the stuff that we sometimes receive today," he recalls. "However when we got back our modest following of England followers had all taken part."
Following a loss, England's tour suffered more defeats. Anyone backing the team around the country surely was truly dedicated. As the tour reached the Melbourne and Sydney matches their crowd had swelled substantially. The players, however, truly appreciated their noise at the grounds. When England secured a face-saving victory, a star beckoned a fan leader up to the team balcony to lead the celebrations. This connection has endured.
Additionally, the large crowds the Barmy Army can attract are as appealing to the cricket authorities as they are to overseas venues. At this Ashes alone, their official tours will host a large number of supporters. Numerous celebrations are planned for the 30th anniversary.
This is, in the end, an organisation born of cricketing passion and entrepreneurial spirit. The reason they mark their founding to a specific Test is because that was when they started selling souvenir shirts. The first small batch was so immediately successful – and financially rewarding – that it launched a thriving business. Over the years, the original members have helped turn a fan community into an major sports tourism business.
That carries its own issues, notably at a time when sport is attempting to move beyond some of its boisterous image. The Barmy Army's management are keen to point out that a growing percentage of their clientele are now female. As norms evolve, the vocals have had to get more family-friendly, too. "Language that you'd say 30 years ago you can no longer say, and that's absolutely right," says a representative. "We can't tell someone how to behave individually, but we will not promote songs that are insulting."
Might the Barmy Army mellow naturally? The average supporter age is now in the late 40s – like the original members, who have been content to step away from the daily operation. One founder is enjoying this tour purely as a fan – leaving young professionals to run the Barmy Army's digital presence. "We forget how hard it used to be to coordinate with each other," he smiles. "It was all done all by shouting – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Regarding England's plight, the impossible dream of a 3-2 turnaround remains alive, which is typical of their spirit indeed. Should England are defeated in Adelaide … well, South Africa next Christmas looks nice.
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