How to Speak Romance Like Gen Z: Fifty-One Hyperspecific Words for Love, Sex and Questionable Conduct

This period marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the words this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

The Letter A

Realness – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while radiating enigma and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {